Struggles with depression and work

I'm having such a hard time with applying for jobs and the increasing despair that is coming with it and not finding a job yet. It is the self-doubt if it is something I can even do or if I should just give up now and put myself in a hospital. In other words, to give up. That isn't my style but it helps to vent on it.

I guess I feel so much negativity going on around me in regards to my medical (no family support what so ever now), my mental (people telling me to just give up) and spiritual (lack of communication with God). So I just am having a hard time with everything, wishing things would just change for the better but also very much aware that I'm not in control most of what is occurring.

I guess I just feel stuck...